Death is only the beginning

By Beki Howlett

Often times, we have a negative connotation or association with death. We may view it as “bad” or “scary” or “sad.” For many, it is our greatest fear! It can be hard to accept the truth that death is inevitable and necessary for growth.

Nature offers us many examples of this. Mushrooms grow out of “dead” logs. Dead foliage provides protection & habitat for insects. Woodpeckers find nourishment from “dead” trees.

The reality of our world is that death begets life. Death is a natural part of life and, indeed, necessary to generate new, and potentially more glorious ways of being…

Let me share a story about the death of old ways of being in my own life. My very own A Christmas Carol. Two years ago, I found myself thoroughly beat up mentally and spiritually by the holidays. I was dealing with a powerful combination that year—family estrangement and food poisoning. 

So without going into too many gory details, it was truly a Christmas I’ll never forget…Now at first glance, you might be inclined to pity me—oh poor Beki, how awful! But remember back to my previous talk, From Scared to Sacred—sometimes those “horrible” moments in life can be a doorway to our most sacred gifts.

So this year, instead of lamenting about Christmas’ past like Ebeneizer Scrooge—Bah humbug!—I decided to take back Christmas for me. What activities would bring my Higher Self authentic joy and fulfillment? This is truly a novel concept for a recovering people pleaser. And I had this thought: I want to take a trip and leave on Christmas day. 

So last August rolls around. I'm visiting some dear friends, my chosen family—whom I normally visit over the holidays—and they mention they’re going to Barcelona this year. And guess when they’re leaving—on Christmas Day. Coincidence, I think not…

Beki en la Fundació Joan Miró en Barcelona.

So I went to Spain! Not pitying me anymore, are you? Ultimately, I travelled to several places in the Catalonia region of Spain, which has its own unique language and culture. I visited Montserrat monastery, Girona, a medieval walled city where they shot many scenes in Game of Thrones and, finally, Barcelona. The whole region has my heart.

And this trip represented a major milestone: it was my first time travelling internationally by myself. This trip was a spiritual pilgrimage. My very own Hero’s Journey come to life. 

My Hero’s Journey Up The Mountain

Across myths and cultures around the world, there is a universal and common theme known as “The Hero’s Journey.” For example, common symbols of our spiritual development might be slaying a dragon, entering a dark forest, or climbing a mountain. There’s also the classic legend of the quest for the holy grail. Also in our modern times, think Moana!

Going deeper, part of this universal mythology involves the hero (psst that’s us!) “entering the forest at the darkest point.”---metaphorically speaking. The hero ventures into the unknown to embrace the most challenging or uncertain obstacles head on. Through this process, the hero discovers their own unique path and achieves self-realization and growth. Critically, the hero forges their own way.

From author Joseph Campbell, “You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else's path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else's way, you are not going to realise your potential.” [― Joseph Campbell, The Hero's Journey]

Let that sink in for a moment. We’ve got to embrace our unique individuality to realize our full potential…

Again, these stories are symbolic. But if you’re like me and on the spectrum, you may take these things literally. So back to my National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…Here I am figuring out what I want to do-–creating my own heaven on earth—and my first order of business was to go alone to a monastery in the mountains for 5 days.

Beki at Montserrat Monastery in Catalonia.

Fun fact, Montserrat monastery was founded in 1025—yes, that means they are celebrating the millennium anniversary this year. So I was cloistered in the hostel within the monastery complex—and my second night there I had this really intense dream. I was showing unconditional love and and support to someone who has caused me great harm. Talk about radical transformation. And I woke away at 5 a.m. with tears streaming down my face.

And I heard an inner voice say, “El tiempo es ahora”—The time is now. And I knew I was supposed to hike up to the summit of this mountain. [Now, those who know me well are probably chuckling right now, because they know, I’m not really a morning person…this is already a miraculous event sans the voice of God.]

So here I am, 5 a.m, I’m a female traveler preparing to go into the literal dark forest, alone, in a foreign country on an unknown trail. Now for many of us, such an experience might invoke fear. Yet I had no fear. The thought didn’t even occur to me. In the immortal words of The Blues Brothers, “I’m on a mission from God.” 

Now for the record, I was prepared. I had my gear, I have hiking experience, I had researched what to expect and downloaded my maps offline. And I hiked for about 2.5 hours in the dark up about 2000 vertical feet. It was so steep, the trail was mostly stairs carved into the mountain.

And this is what greeted me at the summit. I saw the sun come up and illuminate what had been dark, casting it in an entirely new light and offering a radically different, and frankly, more beautiful perspective.

Sunrise at the summit, Sant Jeroni, elevation 4055'.

On my own Hero’s Journey, facing my fear wasn’t going into the literal dark forest (that was easy!) conquering my fear came when I bought the plane ticket! Battling negative thoughts like, “Oh your family is going to be so disappointed that you are skipping Christmas. Oh it’s gonna cost a lot of money!” Those were the points of the forest darkest to me..

When we’re in the darkness, a consciousness of fear, of self doubt, we can perceive death or change or uncertainty as scary. It can be frightening to go into the unknown. The Hero’s Journey teaches us that by facing our fears, going into our darkness, that this process can lead to positive transformation and, indeed, help lead us to the ultimate transformation, which is the death of the illusion of our separation from God.

New Thought minister and author Eric Butterworth reminds us:

“There is only one way under the sun by which a person can achieve their ‘Mt. Olympus’—that is to say, achieve the realization and the unfoldment of his own innate divinity (salvation, in the truest sense of the word)--and that is by bringing about a radical and permanent change for the better in his own consciousness. There is no other way.” – Discover the Power Within You, Chapter 2: The Great Decision

How often have we let fear rule our thinking and we have made decisions in direct opposition to our core values, goals, or dreams? Your dreams are possible! Indeed, it is your purpose and your birthright to bring your desires into physical reality. But first, we must make a decision to embrace the death of old ways of being and to welcome radical change. We must embrace the death of fear, the death of victim consciousness, and the ultimate death—which is not physical death!—but, again, the death of the illusion of our separation from God. 

Said another way–you are always connected to God. And when we fully and truly understand this, our fears melt away. Why would we have fear when every single one of us has the ever-present, all-knowing and all-powerful presence of God within us? All is well.

Now I recognize that, perhaps more often than not, we don’t hear an actual voice telling us our next steps. When walking the path, we may feel alone and uncertain of where to go next.

Anyone here here ever felt lost on their spiritual journey? Ever find yourself in a dark night of the soul lamenting to God, “Why me? What should I do?” The paradox of the Hero’s Journey is that the Hero searches all over externally for “Truth”--when in reality, the “Holy grail” has been right there within us the entire time. As Jesus told us, the kingdom of God is within you.” So how do we access it?

In Lessons in Truth, Emilie Cady shares this wisdom with us:

“Though possibly there will come times to each of us, before we reach the land of milk and honey (the time of full deliverances out of all our sorrows and troubles), when we shall come into a deep wilderness or against a seemingly impassable Red Sea, when our courage will seem to fail. Yet God says to each of us: Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of Jehovah, which [God] will work for you today.” Ex. 14:13. – Lessons in Truth, Lesson 1, No. 8.

If–and rather WHEN–you feel lost on the path, or you are feeling fear, you feel your courage beginning to wane, stop doing for a moment, and simply be. Enter the silence, the stillness, and connect with God, Source, the Universe, that divine presence within you—because that’s where your individual answers lie.

I realize that God is everywhere present at all times no matter where I am. Yet, taking that trip, hiking up that mountain, entering the forest at the darkest point—literally—was what I needed in that moment for my soul to come back to myself. And I’m forever grateful that I listened to my own inner voice–to do the thing I was afraid of and face the challenge head on.

Death is only the beginning and we are the heroes of our own stories. Every moment of our life offers us a door, a portal for new experience, for rebirth, for transformation. Death—literal and metaphoric—is an innate opportunity to let go of what was and allow something new and beautiful to emerge. And, ultimately, to help us get closer to the realization that we are never alone. That we share an inseverable connection with God, no matter where we are and what the circumstances may be. So be not afraid.